Every man dreams of the things he wants to do and the goals he wants to accomplish. But not all men achieve their dreams.
Some men try and fail; other men don't even try.
As a young man, my dream was to join the Special Forces. I accomplished that! I joined up, and I went through the training, and I made it. Reaching this goal was demanding (to say the least!), both physically and mentally, but I was in good shape, and I had the desire, the passion, and the endurance to succeed.
That was the first time that I lived a dream, and it felt awesome. But while that dream was tough to achieve, it hasn't been my most difficult goal to reach.
My next big dream began to form while I was still serving in the Special Forces. I had this passion and love for helping people get in better shape and improve their health. Those desires solidified into a dream of becoming an elite personal trainer!
This dream was harder to accomplish, but maybe not for the reasons you would expect! I had the knowledge to do it. I had access to the money it required. I made detailed plans of how to bring that vision to life, and I even proved my concept by showing others how to build a fitness business and watching them become extremely successful.
But I created huge obstacles for myself in the form of fear and self-doubt. As a result, I waited FIFTEEN YEARS to act on my dream. Only when my amazing wife encouraged me to go for it, did I finally take action and bring this dream into reality.
I don't know if you've ever achieved a huge goal, but man, it felt SO GOOD! I was living my out my vision of being a health performance coach, working with top athletes and C-suite-level executives. I became the trainer for a nationally-ranked rugby team for six seasons. I was published in multiple fitness-related media platforms for my expertise in health and fitness. My wife and I made our home in sunny San Diego, and I had my best body ever in my 40's.
And then - suddenly - everything fell apart.
I was doing a muscle-up, an extremely difficult exercise. In a freak accident, I felt my wrist POP and I knew something was seriously wrong. In a split second, I tore all the ligaments in my hand, and the bones began to spread apart, shift and twist. My hand was unable to heal properly, and that started a nightmare of a medical journey.
Corrective surgery to my dominant hand was recommended, and the first of four surgeries was performed on April 20, 2015. During that surgery, the doctor removed 6.5" of my median nerve, leaving my arm basically useless. The three additional surgeries were recommended to restore some function to my arm, which at this point was basically acting like an amputated limb. In the additional surgeries, my right arm was reconstructed, half the bones in my hand were removed, and I had a complete wrist fusion. I've now had a total nerve reconstruction of my right arm, and it's a waiting game to see how my mobility may or may not return. I came away with only 20% use of my right hand and with a permanent disability.
My wife and I were devastated. My identity had been rooted in my physicality, my physical performance, my ability to accomplish physical feats. Now I couldn't tie my shoes, put on my belt, or operate a zipper. Just using the bathroom felt humiliating.
My second dream was gone. I was left with nothing—at least, that's how I felt!
I couldn't drive. I couldn't work for nine months. I had NO income coming in. I had doctor's appointments every two weeks—which I had to fly across the country for. To top things off, my wife's income stopped as well, because she had to take care of me. We drained our life savings to stay afloat during this extraordinarily challenging time.
This may be starting to sound like a bad country song, but my favorite dog even died during this time period. Life felt like one series of terrible, horrible, awful events, and my identity was shaken to the core.
Finally, I realized that I had two choices:
I could let this accident determine WHO I WAS and WHO I WOULD BECOME.
OR. . .
2. I could take this trial, this ADVERSITY, and do something PRODUCTIVE with it.
After long days of reflection—on who I was, my identity, what I would do—I decided that I would take this challenging time in my life and turn it into something GOOD!
That's when I developed my third dream - which is my truest passion: helping other men navigate past, through and around the conflicts and adversities in their lives!
Over the last two years, I've been able to impact hundreds of men's lives in a positive manner. Amidst all the drama, the trauma, and the difficulties, I managed to make it out of the turmoil, to PREVAIL, and to turn things around! I found purpose, drive, motivation and FOCUS.
When you're dealing with adversity, it's really easy to allow it to dominate your life. Your challenge may be a divorce, a health issue, or a work issue. What I want you to get from my story is that YOU HAVE A CHOICE!
You can allow circumstances to dictate your life and its direction. (This sounds like a total drag.)
OR. . .
You can take your circumstance, your problem, your catastrophe -- and you can find new opportunities in it. EXPLOIT it—in a positive way—and make something GOOD and SUCCESSFUL from it.
ME? I'm living my dream again—my THIRD dream (and you know they say the third time's a charm, right?!). One good thing is that there's NO RATION on dreams! Whether it's your first, second, or tenth dream, get up and GO AFTER IT!
To your wild success,
P.S. Are you ready for a big, positive change, but lacking support around making the decision to up-level? I've got a special Masterclass for you on how to make those crucial big decisions! This is the info you need when it's time to Ride or DIE! (I hope you do the former). Join me here on August 2 at 5:30 pm PDT / 7:30 pm CDT / 8:30 pm EDT: http://the13codes.com/rideordie